Wednesday, October 14, 2015

EF #29: The One Who Never Complains

Ibu, that’s how I usually call her, is my mother-in-law. I chose to write about her because she is the one who has taught me how to be a strong woman.

My father-in-law is no longer healthy. He got his second stroke two years ago that made him unable to move some parts of his body. So, Ibu takes care of him (without leaving her job as a midwife in a public health center) patiently. If you have family members who got stroke, you know what patience means. The first year after Bapak got stroke was the hardest moment for Ibu because he’s totally dependent on other people to help him do anything, even to sit down. Bapak was also mentally shocked because of this condition so he was almost always angry. Ibu? She never be angry to him. If I were her, I couldn’t be that patient I’m sure.

Although she works, she always cook herself, especially for Bapak. Bapak should watch his diet and keep his blood sugar low. Because of this, she often came late to work. Fortunately, she hires a nurse for my father so she still can work. Since all of her sons and daughter work in other cities, she’s the only one who accompany Bapak after the nurse go home. Even, when the nurse was absent, she should take a day off.

This doesn’t count that she has to take care of Bapak’s medication, like seeing the doctor for check up, the therapy, medication, insurance, and stuff. She’s still active in the neighborhood for PKK meetings/activities and also open a small clinic in her house. Thank God she has a medical background so she can inject medicine to Bapak’s arm, knows functions of the medicines, knows which food is acceptable for him, etc.

Maybe a lot of people has this experience since the number of heart attack and stroke are rising, but the reason I write about this was because: she-never-complains. Oh yes, that’s true.

I, as a complainer (hahhaha), can’t understand how this happens. If I’m tired, I say that. If my son became so difficult to take care of, I became emotional. If my husband put something not on the right place, I protest. It’s quite hard to be cool like Ibu although she’s facing far more difficult situation (and she can’t run from it). Well, I guess that’s part of her character and a result of how she was raised.  From here, I am really trying to stop complaining (at least lessen it –nobody’s perfect :p) because my life is way easier than hers (and my husband never sees his mom or sister complain a lot like me haha..)

I always pray that Bapak’s condition gets better by days so he can do simple things without help thus Ibu can really retire after she retires next year inshaa Alloh. Aamiin.

P.S: If you have something to say about someone you adore, you love, you hate... join BEC English Friday Challenge J



  1. Wow. A story that reminds me that love and marriage are sometimes to be tested (? pardon my lack of proper expression..)
    Btw, although it seems cliché, it is often said that someone is not given the burden beyond his/her capacity. So yeah, your Ibu might have "that capacity" (a big heart and patience)..

    1. Ya I know what you mean mbak.. I really hope her patience will end up in a real happiness :)